And I Would Run Three Hundred More

Quite literally, it’s a milestone.  Well, it’s THREE HUNDRED MILES!!!!  I kept track because they said that that the shoes should only go 300 miles and then retire…I’ve run three hundred miles!!!  That is AMAZING and a bit frightening and quite exhilarating!

Amazing because in January, I thought that even running one mile would be impossible for me in my physical state of age, weight, aches and pains, health. 

Exhilarating because it wasn’t just a passing phase – like the aerobics classes that I used to attend, or the weight room I used to frequent, or the treadmill upon which I used to walk/run.  This is something that I can continue for many years!

Why is it frightening to me? I don’t know…it still catches in my chest when I think of it… THREE.  HUNDRED. MILES. It is a long way.  Maybe I expected to see more change in me after that…and I haven’t really changed that much…not lost more weight…not built up lots and lots of endurance…it still isn’t easy so that I feel that I should move on to the next goal of like, say FOUR miles a day or something.  Maybe I’m afraid that I won’t continue…it’s a big weight of success taunting me to “BEAT THAT!” or something…I still don’t know why the fact that I have run THREE HUNDRED MILES scares me.

But, nonetheless, I will CELEBRATE this milestone!!! I have run three hundred miles and I will run three hundred more!

IF I DRESS IN PINK…? Or, TRICKS We Use

I was laughing to myself as I was running today – If I dress in pink, will you mistake me for the Energizer Bunny? (He just keeps going!) I don’t know if I heard that somewhere or if I just made it up.  Or if I dress in grey and black, will you think that I am a Timex? (takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’)

I noticed that I was giving up at the same places along the track.  It just seemed that I couldn’t go any further.  And that HILL!!! (a small berm that goes over the end of the man-made lake…it is no big deal really, but it FEELS like a wall when one is a bit tired!) So, I shook things up a bit…I went a different way! I ran around the block awhile BEFORE going to the track, and then, I went the opposite direction! (GASP!!!) And you know what!?! I fooled my own brain!  Instead of “only” running 2 miles, I was able to do 3!!!!

The battles that we fight in life are real battles…there are scars and wounds.  There are even fatalities and mourning.  But most of our battles, like the iceberg, are the hidden battles of the mind.  So often, what we think we cannot do, we do not do, but not because we actually could not, but only because we bought into the lie that we could not do it. 

So, I have been using tricks.  Small plates. TRICK!  One cup per hour. TRICK! Running the other way. TRICK! Music and earphones. TRICK! 

Of course, it is important not to lose track of the truth! I am not talking about actual self-deception!  I KNEW that I was really running 3 miles…I wasn’t actually fooled. 

The “trick” I am talking about is to do something that camouflages or removes my own self imposed limits.  I am talking about getting out of a rut and looking at the “mountain” from a different perspective.

What do we think we cannot do? Lose 15 pounds?  Get up at 5:30?  Organize that terrifying desk? Face that messy kitchen?  It is a lie.  We CAN do all of that…the limits are pretend. Get smaller plates!  Throw on some earphones and some exciting music!  Do five minutes of paperwork at a time!  Run the other way around the track!  Dress in Pink and Keep Going!!!

I JUST WANT TO SAY...

No photos, no "blog bling" only this one comment: WOW!!! Traveling 20 - 25 pounds lighter than my last airplane ride is AMAZING!!! 

It isn't as apparent in day-to-day living anymore, but getting around the cabin, fitting in the seat, the NON-SWOLLEN ANKLES!!!!, it is all worth it!!!  I am inspired... time for a new goal and after our re-feeding and replenishing time, time to start the loss again and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!

Re-Feeding

I depleted my reserves.  I didn’t know it – but I ran myself out and so my body said, “Far enough!” and simply QUIT letting go of the weight! How did it do that? I don’t know.  Fascinating.

So, I started eating more stuff.  Not OVER eating.  Just eating – a few more carbs, a few more real sized meals (well, more than one cup but not more than two cups).  And I kept running. 

And… drum roll….

I’m back to the “lowest” point so far on the journey! (Remember that I had gained some and so now I have lost that.)

They even have a term for it – I didn’t know it at the time, but in my research, I found out someone had a term for it: re-feeding.  So, that’s the way it will be – push and rest, push hard and then rest, push it to the limit and then rest.  Eat more, then less.  Exercise hard, and then rest.  Mix it up.  Pump it up.  Like breathing – in and out.  Who knew?

I kinda like the eating part!  (but I’m scared that I won’t have the self discipline to go back to the spare, low-cal, low carb, just-say-no way of eating again!)

Got any tips? How is your weight going? We are half way through the year now…and into swimsuit weather!  It’s time!  Pump it up, get out there and walk or run, add more veggies!

IN THE FACE OF DIFFICULTY (or, Ow! Pain hurts!)

So, I finally broke down and bought “running shoes” … they were on sale!  Still, it was more money than I wanted to spend.  People (whoever “they” are) said that I shouldn’t run in my $13 shoes from Wally World.  So, I got some cool shoes.  They fit well.  They felt well.

“Don’t do too much!” I was warned.  So, instead of 3 miles the first day, I only did 1.  Just one. <giggles> I love it that I can say, “I only ran one mile.” Tickles me. 

Anyway, I hurt.  But, I reasoned, that is only as it should be.  I rested one day – unusual for me.  On day three I tried to run two miles…but by the end of 1.75 miles, I had to stop running…walking the rest of the track.  On the 0.25 mile walk home, I was in more pain…and before I arrived at home, I was thinking about just crawling home…wondering why didn’t I bring the cell phone???!!!??? I went to bed.  Ice.  Heat. Pain. OW!!!!!  The next day, I could have used a wheel chair or a walker! The cane was not good enough – and this was a lady that had been running 3 miles a day for a few weeks now, and she couldn’t even make it to the bathroom on her own steam. Amazing what a little thing can do such huge damage!

So, a trip to the chiropractor, back rubs, more ice, taking it easy, wearing flats, etc.  My fancy shoes are a bust!  I’m back in my $13 WM shoes!!! And up to a whole mile a day again!!!  I hope to recover enough to get back to three miles again. 

It is so easy to get things wrong in life.  There are 1000 ways to mess up – and so few ways to get things right.  Be well.  Celebrate! 

Good-Bye to the Frog Lady

OK, so I don’t know if you know my story or not…I’ve never been really a “thin person” but I kept things at a pretty good level for most of my life.  I always felt that I was about 15 pounds overweight and life rocked along with me never feeling like I was at the “right weight” but, still, not bulging into the dreaded category: obese. However, when I had the hysterectomy, some sort of dam broke.  I stayed about the same for the first three months, and then….WHAM!! within two months, I had gained 60 pounds!!  That is one pound per day!!!!

Complications from the surgery caused me great, continual pain, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be “normal” or not.  I was having hot flashes which I call “fire storms” that soaked whatever clothes I was wearing and dripped off of my hair.  It was no “gentle change”… I went from a normal 39-year-old woman to Fat, Crazy, and Hormonal with ISSUES!  Enter the Frog Lady.

As my weight grew, I would catch glimpses of this frog-lady in the mirror…a shadow of the “me” that I remembered, but definitely frog-like.  Swollen nose, arms, even my lips were bigger!  I hated her!  “I want my body back!” I was in “recovery” from that surgery for two difficult years.  Finally, I felt like I could actually get out of my sick-bed and get up and lose the weight that had come on so quickly.  Surely it would go just as quickly!  Guess again.

Eventually, I started going to a gym three days a week – and then up to four!  I started a cycle of work that still astounds me.  I spent an hour in the weight room and then an hour and a half in an aerobic class.  I upped the weights.  I gave it all I had in the aerobics…but I hit a plateau.  I kept DOING more and EATING less, and NOTHING!!! Then…well, life happened and essentially, Miss Frog never really left…she settled in for a long stay.  She took over my body in 1999 and this is 2012!!!  I’ve lived with the hated frog for a LONG TIME!!! 

So, here I am again, the SAME plateau poundage that I was at BEFORE the hysterectomy.  I haven’t been below this weight for 15 years.  It is like there is a barrier that will not budge. 

But, I am more stubborn than my body! I will rid myself of Miss Frog!  I still want my body back!  Sometimes, when I look in the mirror now, I don’t see the frog…I see me again! It is like an old friend has come home.  “Oh! There you are!  You haven’t changed a bit!” 

GOOD-BYE MISS FROG!

Single Digits!!!

So we know that 40 inches is 40 inches.  It doesn’t matter if you squish it into a size 2 (now THAT is SOME ELASTIC, I’m telling you!) or swath it into a 4X…it is STILL 40 inches.

So, why am I practically ecstatic that I can fit into a size single-digit pair of pants????

I’m not taking ‘em off!

All of the charts say that in reality I am a couple of sizes away from this size range…and in my closet are a series of sizes which all “fit” my body, none of which are as small as these pants declare.  So, I know it is an anomaly.  I know it is a “false size”.  I know that. 

Still…<wicked grin> I am in ‘em!!!!  And I’m not taking them off!!!

Never mind that I haven’t worn “this size” since Jr. High and likely will never actually wear this size. (Remember, I have big bones! Even SKINNY, I just don’t wear the small sizes!)

They don’t bind.  They are not too short.  (A common problem for me) There is not any extra room, but I don’t have to lie on the bed and suck in my breath to button them and zip up!  All of these things are added benefits. But this is not why I love to wear these pants.

      size 16                             size 12

(If they were the same in all other respects, I'm picking the 12!)

Whatever my left-brain tells me, there is still this illogical thrill…yes, I tell you, a heart fluttering THRILL (!) that they are a single digit size!!!

Can you remember what size you wore at specific points in your life?  I sure can.  Strange.  At any given moment, I can’t remember my own phone number.  The zip code!  The ages of my kids.  The birthdays of my grandchildren.  But I CAN tell you the size of the dress I am wearing in any photo.  Easy.  And how much I weighed.

Strange.  Very strange indeed.

Running…Who’dathunkit?

So, yup.  I’m a runner.  Hahaha. 

Well, actually I’m a jogger. 

Well, in reality I’m training to become a jogger. 

Still, it has been strangely fun!  I’m only a few “runs” into it, but I’m DOING IT! And it is WORKING!!! I haven’t broken the plateau yet, but I have re-lost the pounds that I gained when I added the calories because 500 calories a day is NOT ENOUGH!  

Wait…did you hear that?  I RE-LOST the pounds that I had GAINED!!!  I haven’t CELEBRATED this fact YET!!!! I need to celebrate that I HAVE LOST THE GAINED POUNDS!!!!! **happy dance** 

I guess that since I feel ashamed to have gained those pounds! (and it is SO unfair because I wasn’t cheating!) that my head doesn’t count this as a victory.  But, the reality is that it is a HUGE victory because I didn’t get discouraged after ELEVEN WEEKS of no weight loss but instead, 4 pounds OF GAIN!!!!  
Since I have already been walking every day (mostly) since January (or doing some kind of alternate during the bad weather days), I started out jogging 2 full minutes and then walking one minute. It’s about half way down on the Couch Potato running schedule. (The Couch-to-5K ® Running Plan) Well, first there is a warm up, and then you repeat this run-walk cycle several times – 5 to be exact. 
Then, for week 2, I revved it up to THREE minutes jogging followed by one minute of walking for four cycles.  An-n-n-n-n-n-n-nd... 

that’s all there is. I’m in week TWO.  

Not very far down the path, so to speak.  However, it IS a step in the right direction. <rolls eyes> I am so full of puns! 
And I have seen a difference!  I leaned over balance myself to push one shoe off with the other, and I SAW MUSCLE TONE IN MY TUMMY! There are muscle lines in my arms.  
Now, in case you are envisioning her (My skinny, 125 pound, 19-year-old self): 

                           No.  Just no.  
I am STILL a VERY rounded, even pudgy individual.  But compared to 30 squishy, cottage cheesy pounds ago, there is a BIG CHANGE!  
Are you getting off of the couch more?  What are YOU doing to amp your calorie burning?  Here’s a Pinterest quote for you: No matter how slow you are go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch. 
Here’s another that I say to myself regularly: If you had gone running when you first thought about it, you’d be done by now.

 

 

What the Doctor Said (two surprises)

So, today I went to the doctor! It was SUCH A JOY to step on the scale! Even though I know that I’ve gained about 4 pounds since I changed my diet from 800 calories a day to 1000-1100 calories a day, it still reflects quite a weight loss since December! (Remember: I wasn’t counting calories, just noting what I ate, and when I went back to count how many, I had averaged 800!!! This is not good. It has slowed my metabolism WAY down – the “famine effect”.)

Doc said to up the calories to 1200.  I am afraid to do that!  Then, she said that I should also increase my activity even more (as if I have time).  It appears that my “diet” (1 c. or less every hr. or more) is something like “The 17 Day Diet” and suggested that I get the book!  She does think that if I will continue to closely monitor all of this, that I will again begin to lose weight.  I sure do hope so!!!

One addition to my arsenal of diet changes is this: drink at least one cup of green tea with each meal.

So, I looked up the benefits of green tea – great stuff! Supposed to be good for your heart, to fight against cancer and… tada! …great for weight loss!  Most of you probably already knew that.

Oh! And another surprise!  Do NOT eat ANY carbs! No long-grain rice, no barley, none of it! Not for the 17 days, and then add them in small amounts.  So, I’ll do that too.

So, even though I want the next 20 pounds to fall off as easy as the first 20 did, it isn’t going to happen.  However, I AM going to put some more changes into play.  Eat more broccoli, kale, Brussels sprouts and other veggies.  Add more olive oil. And also, drink more green tea!  I am going to start the one minute jog-3 minutes walk training until I get up to straight jogging.  (This is NOT good news for me, however, I will need the increased stamina when I am on my mission trips…so it IS a good idea even if I do not like it.)

sorry it is blurry - park where I will do my jogging (I already walk 1 - 1 1/2 hours per day here)

No magic formula.  No pills.  No surgery.  Just hard work and planning.  <sigh> Here we go!!!!!